The Self Help Books Didn't Say Anything About This
by Hitoko-sama
Summary: Based off Episode 57 of the shippuden. Sai and Naruto have a 'misunderstanding' that leads to their dating but what does Sasuke think about this? YAOI SaiNaru onesided SasuNaru
1. Chapter 1

**Ok so I was going through and reading Sai and Naruto oneshots, and I was like, " Hey I should try this and see how it goes." cause I don't really mind this pairing all that much. So here's my attempt at a SaiNaru fic. NOTE: NOT GOING TO BE A ONESHOT FRIENDS AND NEIGHBORS. Based off that episode where they were sitting next to the creepy statue and Sai got all close and Naruto thought he was going to kiss 'em but he didn't then he pulled out his book and tried to learn what to do when your friend 'misunderstands.' it made me die of laughter, until the paramedics came and revived me. idk the episode otherwise, I would have said it…lol. Sai's PV**

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Naruto was afraid. I really didn't think Captain Yamato's words would cut him so deeply. But then again, I have been wrong before, and Naruto is pretty unpredictable. It seemed to be even worse after Sakura left. I thought maybe if I kept smiling at him he would calm down and know he wasn't alone. But that didn't work, I could tell when that bird flew out of the tree and he jumped, pretty much, a mile off the ground. So I did what I always did when faced with a situation I don't have much first hand experience with. Turned to my self help section of the library books. This weeks editions, 'HOW TO COMFORT YOUR FRIENDS, For Idiots.' I flipped a few pages and reread the spot about scared friends.

" _If a friend is frightened or scared about something, put your hand gently on their shoulder, provide them with some warmth, and let them know they are never alone."_

I nodded to myself and closed the book. I walked over to him and sat beside him. Naruto looked confused by my actions but said nothing. When I wrapped my arm around his shoulders, he seemed to not appreciate it as much as the book let on. He glared daggers at the side of my head. I knew he wanted me to let go but I wouldn't until we conquered his fear together…This might be tougher than I thought. I turned my head and he not only pulled away from me, but had the most revolted look on his face. What did I do? He pulled his arm back and cracked me hard in the face. I sat back up and he started to angrily wave his fists in the air.

" WHAT'RE YOU DOING?!" Naruto screamed at me. I stumbled to find the right words, but before I could truly answer his accusation, he cut me off. " I'M NOT INTO THAT KIND OF THING! ITS JUST WRONG!" A startling confession. For the way he was obsessed with Sasuke I thought they were long time boyfriends. But then I felt a tinge of pain. Does he feel like all gay men are gross? Ah now I was thinking too far into it, besides its better not to start a fight with my first real friend over something so multi-opinioned anyway. Naruto turned on his heel and quickly started to walk away.

" No. That's not what I meant. Uh in a case where a friend misunderstands, ah screw this book." I said throwing it too the ground and caught his wrist. " Listen I wasn't trying to pull anything on you, I just thought you were afraid then the dumb book was like go over there and comfort him. So I did and now you think I'm a big gay freak."

" Sai, I've always thought you were a big gay freak, this just proves my point." Naruto said shaking his wrist free. He started to walk away from me and he put his hands in his pockets. I needed to know something, so I followed him.

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**Naruto's PV**

Oh god that was WAY too close. If Sai would have kissed me I wouldn't have known what I would have done. I was pretty sure I would have kissed back, ruining my straight guy image, and knowing Sai and how he doesn't know anything that he hasn't read in a book, wouldn't keep his mouth shut about it. And it would only be made worse by the fact that I don't mind the thought of fucking Sai. But that's only because his stoicness reminds me of Sasuke. And his ridiculously good looks. He was following behind me and I knew I would never get any peace until I talked to him.

" Why are you following me?" I asked, he stopped and moved so he could face me properly. " Well?"

" Do you really think being gay is wrong?" Sai asked and my breath caught in my throat. Well obviously not because I was gay, of course Sai didn't exactly know that now did he? Unless maybe Sasuke told his something when he was with him. But I doubt that, Sasuke was pretty keen on keeping secrets on the inside.

" Why should that matter? Most men think its wrong to be gay." I said walking away. It was true, and that's why I had to hide it. None of my guy friends would give me peace for being gay. Not even Sasuke did, even though he was my lover. " Besides, its not like I offended you, cause your not gay Sai. I mean sure I joke about it but I know your not." He was silent. Then I caught on. OH MY GOD HE IS GAY! I stayed silent as he approached me, I backed up a little and he grabbed my arm. His eyes stared down into mine and I felt my face heat up. He was so close our chests were touching. His face lowered even closer to mine, his lips closer and closer, but they changed course to my ear. They rested there for a moment and I shuddered when I felt his breath on my ear. He still said nothing almost savoring the moment. I wanted to push him away but at the same moment I wanted to pull him closer, kiss him, let him claim my body like Sasuke used to.

" But Naruto, you're gay too." Sai said, he snuggled me closer and bit my ear softly. I whimpered quietly, not wanting him to hear my pleasure. " Why would you say those things? Besides everyone pretty much has guessed about you and Sasuke. In fact I'm so sure you've fucked each other that I'm willing to bet my life on it."

My heart pounded. Was I really that obvious? I've only walked funny once when Sasuke was around and everyone seemed to believe the lie I told!! What if they knew then and just accepted the excuse so they could mock me later? Uh. I hate my life. Sai moved his lips from my ear and moved his head so he could stare me in the eye. Before I knew what was going on his lips were pressed against mine and my mind was melting. It had been so long since I'd been kissed by a man. My last kiss was so long ago I don't even remember it. For someone who didn't know how to interact with people Sai really knew what he was doing. My head swan when his tongue caressed mine in such a blissful way. I moaned into his mouth and he broke us apart. I leaned in, wanting more. And he bent back down and we kissed again, his tongue touched every part of my mouth. He reached down and grabbed my ass, squeezing it until I was moaning loudly into our kisses. I grinded our hips together and it was his turn to moan. He pushed me back into a tree and attacked my neck. His kisses gave me goose bumps, they ghosted over my skin, making me shudder. I wanted more, I needed him to give me more. I didn't care if it made him think I was a whore. I wanted more.

" More." I moaned. He pulled back, and took a step back, away from me. He stared into my eyes and I whimpered, coming to meet him. He wrapped his arms around my waist and kissed my forehead. We swayed gently for a moment. Sasuke never did that for me, never just held me because he could. It always had a hidden purpose. " Please Sai?"

" Shhh. No, not now. Look at me." He said, and I looked at him. He cradled my face in his hand and kissed my lips. " We can't do that on a mission, you know that. Plus what if Sakura or Captain Yamato came back? That wouldn't exactly be good now would it? Also before I do that, I want a relationship, something more than just an one-night stand."

I kissed him. " Ok, we can be boyfriends. Cause believe it or not I really do like you Sai. And I want you for more than just sex. Its just that I haven't got any in a while. Plus your right, having sex right now would be really stupid."

" Sai, Naruto!" Sakura called. " We found the priests we were supposed to meet! Get a move on!"

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**TO SASUKE**

" OH FUCK NO!" Sasuke yelled while watching Naruto in his crystal ball. The anger pulsed in his veins. So his little blonde thought that just because Sai was there and he wasn't that bastard could take his place? Sasuke didn't think so. He got off his bed, tossed the crystal backwards so I would land on the soft mattress. He reached out for the door and Orochimaru was waiting outside. " Get the fuck out of my face snake man."

" Oh someone's touchy today." Orochimaru said as Sasuke passed him. " So what happened? I told you if you watched Naruto something was going to piss you off. Let me guess him and that Sai guy are hooking up."

Sasuke stopped and stared back at the snake, who was smirking. Damn sometimes he was too smart for his own good. The Uchiha nodded, and walked farther away.

" Well Sasuke you left the village Naruto needs someone to comfort him. Besides he's not your property." Kabuto said adjusting his glasses.

" Where the hell are you coming from? You both popped out of nowhere." Sasuke said confused. But he glared at both of them. " well first off I don't give a fuck. I saw and fucked him first, he's mine. Second, he is totally mine, I've claimed his body for my own too many times to be counted. So if you'll excuse me I'll be off killing dirty sluts know as Sai."

" What? You can't leave!" Orochimaru began, Kabuto cut him off by standing in front of him. The two of them huddled together and Sasuke watched from the outside, rolling his eyes at them.

" Let him go. Knowing him, he'll retrieve Naruto and we'll have him under our control." He said fixing his glasses. Again. Orochimaru smirked and popped his head up.

" Have fun killing Sai, Sasuke. Make sure you break the spine and walk away. It gets them every time."

Sasuke gave a final wave and walked out of the base, into the sunlight. It would be a few days before he reached Naruto so Sasuke decided he needed to get some reinforcements.

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**Oh snap son, what's going to happen to Sai? WILL SAI AND NARUTO HAVE SMEX?! Guess you'll have to wait to find out. **

**Naruto: Sai and me?  
Me: yep  
Naruto: Why?  
****Me: Cause I like Sai, he humors me.****  
Sai: Is there something wrong me Naruto-kun?  
Me: Yeah is there?  
Sasuke: Yes you're an evil assface who needs to stop being exactly like me  
Naruto: Yeah?****Me: Well we'll get this straightened out later, for now this is Hitoko-sama  
****Sai: SASUKE HAS A SMALL PENIS!  
****Sasuke: He's DEAD!  
Me: -sigh- **


	2. Chapter 2

**WOOOOO next chappy! So here is Hitoko-sama with her manga plot theory of the month…xD (It seems like it anyway… I just usually say them to myself ) anyhow I was reading it and Danzo somehow got the Sharingan and I was ok. Then I was thinking, isn't Madara's Sharingan Eye on the same side as Danzo's? Then I was like OMG THEY'RE THE SAME PERSON!!! Or Danzo stole Madara's eye and now he's hella pissed xD But usually I'm wrong about these things. So I'll stick to writing and not prophecies. Regular PV**

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Naruto sighed and flopped down onto his bed. It had been a LONG week, to him it felt good just to be home where he could just forget what happened outside the walls of his small apartment. Unless of course what happened just managed to follow him home that day. Sai stepped in stepping carefully over Naruto's organized mess. The raven haired replacement fought again the horrible urge to clean, he would fight it until he could stand it no more. And he wouldn't care how much Naruto bitched at him, it would be clean! Sai smiled a little of thought of the apartment being sparkling. Naruto looked at him from across the room, he didn't care that Sai saw this mess, he was a guy he was bound to be messy to. Then Sai managed to make his way across the room and sit down next to Naruto. The blonde blushed a little at their sudden closeness. Sai ran his hand down the blonde's cheek, drawing his face closer, his lips puckered a little, begging to be kissed. Sai smirked at Naruto's reaction. Not now, and Sai let go of Naruto's face. The blonde pouted at the raven. And that's when he pounced.

" You think I wouldn't start it Sai?" Naruto said with a evil gleam in his eye. Sai smirked at the sudden dominance but quickly flipped them so Sai was the dominate one.

" You may have started it, but I will finish it." Sai said silencing Naruto with his soft lips. Naruto responded to the kiss with vigor, and the raven pulled back making his blonde whimper. " Or maybe I should just torture you with the most horrible teasing you will ever experience."

Naruto's arms were pinned down and tied back, as to not get in the way of what Sai was doing. The blonde underneath him squirmed and it only encouraged the raven to touch him gently, to arouse him and not cause much pleasure. Sai carefully ripped off Naruto's shirt, and it seemed that the blonde was too enwrapped with the pleasure to care about what was happening to his clothes. Sai's mouth dropped down to the blonde's already half-hard nipples and gave them a soft flick. He arched a little begging for more feeling. And Sai smiled dropping his mouth onto the soft chest, he bit one of them while he pinched the other harshly. Naruto moaned and arched up trying to get Sai to do more. The raven abandoned the blonde and unbuttoned his pants with his teeth, making Naruto shake with anticipation. Sai removed them and his boxers in one swift move. The replacement smiled and lowered his mouth on Naruto's already dripping cock. Sai took an experimental lick, and then he began stroking Naruto's surprisingly soft balls. The blonde moaned, but then bit his lip to silence his obvious pleasure. Sai bit down a little.

" Don't you hold back your voice," He said biting a little more, " I want you voice ringing in my ears." Naruto's face got even redder and he let out a loud moan as Sai thrusted a finger inside of him. Then there were two, scissoring him. Naruto winced a little at the feeling, it HAD been a while. But he knew it would get much better. When the third finger was added Naruto was pushing back against them, wanting more than to be finger-fucked. The blonde moaned and wrapped his legs around Sai's waist signaling what he wanted next. Sai hesitated but started to unbutton his pants. Naruto moaned a little at the sight. And Sai's cock pulsed getting a little bit harder. The blonde braced himself and the raven pushed in his engorged cock. He bit back a moan of pain as he was intruded. Tears silently rolled down his cheeks. And Sai kissed them away.

" Do you want me to stop?" Sai asked, pulling out slightly. Naruto furiously shook his head. He was panting harshly as Sai thrust into his again. The blonde moaned and pulled at the restraints on his arms. It was simple rope, easy to break. And he did. Naruto quickly wrapped his arms around Sai's neck and whimpered when he increased the speed of his thrusts. Naruto's nails grated down the pale back, leaving deep red marks in his flawless skin. Sai moaned and bit down on the blonde's shoulder making delicious marks on the tanned skin. An eye for an eye. Naruto's mouth connected to Sai's, in a soft kiss, but when Sai started thrusting harder, making his go deeper, the kiss lost its innocence and turned it feral. Tongues lashed out caressing each other hard, almost like a fight in their mouths. Sai attempted to pull back but Naruto's hand wrapped harshly in his hair, keeping his head in place. Sai thrusted into Naruto making the blonde see spots, and their mouths disconnected. Naruto cried out and dug his nails deep into Sai's back making red crescents stand out in comparison to the white skin. The raven hissed and bit the blonde, any skin that wasn't covered was fair game for Sai's teeth. Naruto gave another small cry before he came onto Sai's stomach. The raven moaned at the added tightness. He thrust more, making his blonde scream in pleasure. He thrust one last time before he came into Naruto, and he collapsed next to his exhausted blonde, smiling of course.

" You know Sai for a guy who doesn't seem to know anything about what your supposed to do around people, you sure do know how to have sex." Naruto said with a sleepy smile. Sai's smile got wider.

" Would you be surprised to know you are my first?" the Replacement said. Naruto completely stopped, everything. " Naruto? Are you alright?"

" I'M YOUR FIRST?! There's no way!!!" He yelled, " You could not have learned that from a book!"

" You'd be surprised to see what you could learn from books." Sai said with a wide smirk. " Here allow me to show you something else."

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**TO SASUKE!! Regular PV still.**

Sasuke walked down the dark hall. He had walked here many times before and this would be the last. Suigetsu was waiting for him and his promises of freedom. The Uchiha calmly entered the room, and didn't even bat an eyelid when he opened the chamber that held the watery man. Suigetsu stood up, stark naked and pointed at Sasuke.

" What's the big idea?" He asked in all of his naked glory. Sasuke smirked, and walked out of the room, knowing he would follow. Which he did. " HEY!! Are you going to answer my question!! SASUKE!! Quit the mysterious shit!"

" If it'll stop your bitching I'll tell you. We're going to pay my little Naruto a visit. He thinks he can fool around with Sai behind MY back! I think not. I mean who does he think he is? Not even I have taken someone else to my bed since him." Sasuke muttered.

" Sasuke, as a friend, I think you need to get over your jealously issues." Suigetsu said, walking slowly behind Sasuke. " And get laid. But remember I'm saying this as a concerned friend."

" Oh really?" Sasuke said turning to face Suigetsu. The Uchiha's hand gently glided through the other man's hair, making Suigetsu blush. " Perhaps you can help me solve one of my problems?"

" NO!! I didn't mean me, not that I'm not flattered or anything like that I just think it would ruin our good friendship…Don't get me wrong of course, I would totally fuck you! I mean damn Sasuke your fine as hell…" Suigetsu was silence by a finger.

" Suigetsu…I was joking." Sasuke said throwing clothes at the naked man in front of him.

" Right, I knew that."

Sasuke rolled his eyes and walked away. Suigetsu struggled to put his clothes on and walk along side the Uchiha at the same time. But he managed to complete the feat. Once outside they set off to Kohona. With Suigetsu lecturing Sasuke the entire time about how to let go. The watery nin was covered in bruises by the time they stopped for the night. The Uchiha pulled out his spying crystal and watched Naruto. And after a few minutes of watching he chucked the crystal and smashed Suigetsu in the head with it…

" NO FUCKING WAY!!" Sasuke screaming in disbelief. " THEY'RE ALREADY FUCKING!!! NOOO HE'S BEEN LEAD DOWN THE PATH OF ANOTHER MAN! COME ON SUIGETSU WE MUST GO NOW AND MAKE SURE THIS CAN NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN!!"

Suigetsu gurgled. And Sasuke looked down to see what he had done to his partner. He sighed and sat back down. Ok maybe they would leave in the morning…

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**I hope you liked this chapter!!**

**Naruto: Why did you make Sasuke comic relief?  
Me: Because its hilarious to see such a serious character play the funny guy  
Sasuke: your not funny  
Me: Your right…SUIGETSU IS!****  
Suigetsu: DAMN STRAIGHT!!  
Sai: What about me?  
Me: Sai…its been a good run. But Suigetsu has replaced you in my heart  
Sai: TT-TT  
Sasuke: This was Hitoko-sama**


	3. Chapter 3

**Yay third chapter!! Regular PV---------------------------------------------**

Suigetsu shakily got to his feet and looked around. His head pounded for reasons he, for the life of him, couldn't remember. Then he looked down and picked up a large crystal sphere from the ground and held it for a minute….Then it all became clear. The watery nin glared down at the still sleeping Uchiha and contemplated throwing the damn thing at his head. But a thought struck him. Whatever Sasuke would do for revenge against getting something thrown at his head would be about a hundred times worse than whatever Suigetsu could think of. So he gently placed the crystal on the ground and woke the Uchiha, who, needless to say, wasn't exactly the best morning person.

" What the hell are you doing waking me up so damn early?" Sasuke said, turning away from his companion. " I was awake all night making sure your dumb ass wasn't suffering from a serious concussion that could cause you to die in your sleep."

" Well that's very thoughtful of you but we need to get going if we ever want to make it to Kohona in time to stop this Sai guy from pleasing your uke another day…or whatever." Suigetsu said with a bored tone, " I stopped caring and listening like the moment we stepped out of the base."

Sasuke got up, packing all of this equipment, and started walking down the all to familiar path to Kohona. And along that path they met a couple of memorable faces. Itachi and Kisame. The older Uchiha blinked a couple of times while sighing and Kisame just let out a small chuckle. He knew his partner did not want to deal with this today. But Sasuke just walked past them with the watery nin following on his heels like a good dog. Itachi actually turned to look at his brother with an almost shocked look on his face. That's when Sasuke himself stopped and looked back.

" Sasuke, I…." But Itachi was cut off by Sasuke's blunt words.

" Not now Itachi." the younger replied storming off down the path again. " I've got a blonde to repossess. But that's when Suigetsu and Kisame turned to each other. They gave each other looks of pity. They both had to deal with stubborn Uchihas. **(A/n: This just proves how pissed off Sasuke is about the whole Sai thing. Itachi has taken a back seat. xD)**

" Suigetsu." Kisame said, bowing a little.

" Kisame." Suigetsu returned, but had no time to bow because his companion was already halfway down a large hill. He had to run to keep up with his companions light speed.

" Well that was pretty weird." Itachi said and Kisame only nodded. But one could tell both were thinking the same thing. " Poor foolish Sasuke needs to get over himself and get laid."

Sasuke sneezed. He wondered if someone was talking about him, but since when did he believe in such lame superstitions as that? Suigetsu whistled while they walked, and it was starting to get on the Uchiha's nerves but as soon as he mentioned it to his companion he just did it even more, and even louder. But a well justified fist to the face silenced his companion much more satisfyingly than he had hoped it would have. Then they continued in silence for much to long, it was starting to bug the Uchiha. And he gave Suigetsu the nod, so he continued his whistling right in the middle of the song he was in. Sasuke guessed it was better than horrible awkward silence. At this point they were only about ten minutes from Kohona, and the Uchiha felt anxious. He replayed the scene in his head a million times and it was an easy enough plan to do but he knew Naruto would fight him the whole way. He wished it wasn't the case but oh well, beggars can't be chooser.

Sasuke led them in a back way that had no guards and they slipped in completely unnoticed. He followed the back ways to get to Naruto's apartment, feeling a bit ashamed of himself for remembering the quickest way. Suigetsu mumbled something about 'getting a life,' and the Uchiha slapped a hand over his companions mouth while to ninjas passed the alley way, completely unaware that there were two dangerous men in their supposedly 'safe' village. The Uchiha chuckled, to think Orochimaru lost to a place that had such a bad security system.

They arrived at the blonde's apartment faster than Suigetsu thought. He still wanted to lecture the Uchiha more about letting go and moving on to the next big thing, but he guessed it only made the Uchiha more determined to ignore him and focus on kidnapping his former boyfriend. Even Kisame wouldn't stoop that low. Suigetsu chuckled, Kisame was blue.

Before the watery companion could blink an eye, Sasuke had disappeared. Obviously in the time he had been mentally been poking fun at the blue man, the Uchiha had manage to find a quiet way in. From what Suigetsu could tell both Sai and Naruto were showering together, which only made Sasuke even more angry when he heard heavy moans and panting coming from it. He had to hold the Uchiha so he wouldn't barge in and ruin everything. Then all of a sudden the water turned off and all you could hear were slight whispers.

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**Before the break in (Sai and Naruto)**

Sai certainly showed Naruto a thing or two about sex. Which was odd since he learned it all from those self-help books. The blonde deiced that whenever he had a problem now he would go to the library and look up his problem there. Naruto groaned and got out of bed, Sai shifted at the heat loss. He walked into the bathroom and started up the shower, knowing it would wake him up in no time. But after a few minutes of washing he noticed that he was sporting some very vicious morning wood that only seemed to get bigger when he touched the other parts of his body. The blonde found it very annoying and toyed with it. After about ten minutes it was still very hard and didn't seem at all like it was going to cum soon at all. That's when he noticed a soft pale hand ghosting over it. He moaned a little and arched against the body that had slipped in behind him.

" Sai, please, give me more." Naruto muttered, eyes half lidded, filled with desire. The raven replied with soft kisses on his neck, making the blonde shiver with anticipation. He grabbed the erection firmly and stroked it hard, earning many loud moans from him. Sai started to finger Naruto in time with his strokes. Before the blonde new it he was screaming and pushing back against Sai. But that's when the pair heard a strange noise, both completely stopped. Naruto's erection dissipated in seconds, much to Sai's displeasure. The replacement turned off the water and listened more.

" I think someone's here…" Sai said reaching for the handle. He was still naked because they had left their clothes in the bedroom. Not knowing he would need them now of all times. " I'll go out to check, you stay behind me. It could be Akatsuki." The blonde nodded and Sai slowly opened the door to reveal nothing but an empty room. They both breathed a sigh of relief and put on pants at least.

But, unfortunately for Suigetsu, that's when Sasuke lost it.

" FUCKIN BITCH!" Sasuke screamed dropping from the ceiling onto Sai. They rolled around on the floor together, exchanging punches. Suigetsu got off the ceiling and rolled his eyes. Naruto pulled the pair apart and Suigetsu grabbed Sasuke so he couldn't attack again. " You were lucky Suigetsu was here to save you!"

" SASUKE WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!" Naruto screamed, flustered from embarrassment.

" I've come to reclaim you." He quickly explained. Then there was a silence.

" why me?" Naruto muttered burying his face in his hands. " Sasuke please, move on. And like from the way your acting its obvious you need to get laid or something."

" WHY DOES EVERYONE KEEP SAYING THAT?!"

" Cause its true." Suigetsu said rolling his eyes again. " see I knew you never listened to my logic."

" Whatever, doesn't matter. I'll be getting some before the week is out." Sasuke said smirking. But Sai moved in front of the blonde.

" Over my dead body." He said and Sasuke flipped on his Sharingan. The replacement was sent into a world of swirling horror. He collapsed onto the floor, unconscious. The Uchiha moved quickly, the blonde didn't even have time to blink before he was bound and gagged. Sasuke threw him over his shoulder and nodded to Suigetsu to follow him out. Sai wouldn't be a problem anymore.

Yep Sai wasn't a problem at all. Naruto was. He struggled the entire time...and somehow he managed to get the gag out of his mouth so he was biting Sasuke and Suigetsu at any chance he could get. Which the Uchiha guessed was better than him screaming, but it was far more painful. But they managed and got Naruto out of the village without any major mess-ups. The Uchiha was sparkling with pride, and Suigetsu could feel the resentment falling off of Naruto. Not that Sasuke cared in the slightest bit. Suigetsu sighed and actually wished to be in that damn water cage than with Sasuke, being stupid like this. But you gotta roll with punches, right?

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**OH NO SASUKE HAS NARUTO AND SAI IS ALL PASSED OUT! D: what will the blonde do?! Why won't Sasuke take Suigetsu's advice?!?**

**Me; But in all seriousness, Sasuke, you need to get laid…  
Sasuke: Well write me a way to get some, oh mighty writer.  
Naruto: That doesn't involve me!!!****  
Sasuke: Quiet you.  
Me: I'll see what I can do…This was Hitoko-sama.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Hey guys I'm sorry about the no update in like months but its not my fault! School is very demanding and I've had no free time since my mom is pretty much breathing down my shoulder. So I hope you enjoy my update.**

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Naruto had given up on running since Sasuke would just run after him, screaming like a crazy person. It was very strange and Naruto really didn't want to experience it again. However there was an up side to the capture the blonde really did like this Suigetsu character and his constant hits to Sasuke's mile long ego. The more fun the man poked the more provoked Sasuke got and the more angry he got the more happy Naruto felt. Dreams were made of these moments. But Naruto did however wonder about Sai, it may have only been a few hours but he was still worried. He knew Sai was probably awake by now and was assembling a team to come rescue him. Right?

" What's wrong my love?" Sasuke purred. Naruto scoffed and averted the eye contact the Uchiha was attempting to make.

" Nothing." He said, wanting very badly to spit in the Uchiha's eye. The blonde didn't but was very keen on the idea if Sasuke got any strange ideas later on that night. But he really doubted it since Suigetsu was here. But once they got back to Orochimaru's lair it would be all over and Sasuke would be on him like flies on ugly. " I just kinda wonder if Sai's ok."

He could feel the Uchiha tense. " Well maybe you should worry less about that replacement and more about what's going to happen to you tonight." It was Naruto's turn to stiffen. Sasuke was so evil. He hoped Sai was at least awake by now because he needed a miracle, and Sai was the only one who could provide it.

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**KOHONA**

Sai laid there for a minute. The floor was cold and unforgiving, most were. He jumped up. Naruto was gone and he had done nothing to stop Sasuke from his prize. Sai booked it out the door to the Hokage tower. Tsunade was going to be pissed but it was better if she knew what happened.

" YOU LET SASUKE KIDNAP NARUTO!" Tsunade screamed throwing her bottle of Sake at Sai's head. He ducked and Sakura proceeded to grab his throat.

" You better have a plan for how to get Naruto out of this Sai!" She screamed tightening her grip. Sai pulled her fingers off his throat, painstakingly slow. His throat had deep red indents. He knew that Sakura wouldn't have killed him but it doesn't mean she wouldn't have gotten close before she let go. Sai coughed and rubbed the marks.

" Obviously I don't have a plan, otherwise I wouldn't have said anything and gone after him myself. But we're talking Sasuke and how many other crazy experiments he has at his disposal." Sai said. " Besides if I couldn't beat Sasuke by myself then I need reinforcements."

" No one can beat Sasuke." Sakura said.

" WHAT?!" Sai screamed. " There's no way that Sasuke is some kind of impossible boss at the end of a video game person. There should be someone, at least one person."

" That person is Naruto but everyone knows Naruto won't fight Sasuke in fear that he'll kill him. Naruto loves Sasuke to much for that." Tsunade said getting up from her chair to where a single hawk waited patiently. She opened the window next to it and let it fly free. It circled the sky letting out a few high pitched cries before flying back and perching on the woodened post.

Yamato walked in with Kakashi. They both looked confused for being called in so suddenly. Tsunade sat back down and pulled out another of Sake. She shook her head before downing the entire bottle.

" Naruto has been captured by Sasuke." Tsunade said throwing the bottle into the waste basket on the side of her desk. Sai could feel all the eyes in the room on him. Kakashi came up behind him, placing a single hand on his shoulder.

" Oh Sai how could you let this happen?" Kakashi muttered. " And I thought you were a man."

Sai's eyebrow twitched in annoyance. Since when was it his duty to protect Naruto? Sure he was supposed to keep an eye on him for Danzo but nothing in that job description included protecting him with his life, even thought he would. Sai swatted the hand away.

" Are you guys just going to sit here playing the blame game all day or is someone actually going to come with me to get Naruto back?" Sai said, walking out the door. They all stared at each other before Sakura, Kakashi, and Yamato ran out behind him. Sai smirked, being assertive was fun.

* * *

**Later that night.**

Sasuke crawled towards Naruto, who had been tied to a tree only minutes before. He mentally cursed Suigetsu for falling asleep so early. The Uchiha cupped the blonde's face. It was time to put the plan into action. Naruto spit in Sasuke's eye, which somehow managed to be the exact time, Sasuke was going to open his mouth. The Uchiha gagged as the spit slid down his throat. The sensation made Sasuke's skin crawl, it felt like a bug was walking down into his stomach. The Uchiha bolted up and walked behind the tree. He retched and dry-heaved a few times. Naruto decided that this outcome was much better than he could have even planned. But then he could feel the heated gaze of the Uchiha.

" You are so in for it!" Sasuke yelled cutting the ropes, Naruto scrambled to his feet only to be pushed to the ground by Sasuke. The Uchiha's eyes flashed red and Naruto's lips were covered by his. He opened his mouth to protest and got a full taste of Sasuke's vomit. What a mood killer. Naruto struggled and it got him nowhere. The Uchiha pulled off the clothes he had lent him. Naruto's heart raced, this was it, he was going to get raped and there was no one to save him.

" Sasuke what do you think you're doing?" The pair looked up to see Orochimaru standing over them.

" Raping Naruto." Sasuke said, getting off the blonde. Naruto had never been so happy to see the snake man in his entire life.

" Well why rape him if you can come back to the base and give him the obedience potion I created?" He said with a devious smile. Naruto's skin crawled as he was thrown over the Uchiha's shoulder again. Oh this was not going to end well.

----

**IN THE MORNING**

Suigetsu woke up very refreshed, he looked around and saw nothing. SASUKE LEFT HIM!?! He huffed and got to his feet. When he got to the base he would sure give him an ear full.

---------------

**HOPE YOU ENJOYED IT!!**

**Naruto: YAY avoided being raped**

**Me: Too bad.**

**Sasuke: So sad D:**

**Me: THIS WAS HITOKO-SAMA**


	5. Chapter 5

**YAY another chapter. Sorry for the wait, and in case you didn't know Hitoko-Sama's computer had an evil virus so…BLAME SOCIETY. Normal PV.**

* * *

Naruto was panicked. Sasuke had be gone for a long time for time. And the thought of what he could be concocting with that obedience potion that Orochimaru mentioned didn't sit well with the blonde. Especially since he was tied to Sasuke's bed. For some reason he could not figure out the simple escape jutsu that they were taught in the academy. He blamed it on all the jutsu he had learned in the short few years. Damn Jiraiya and all of his random teachings. Sasuke opened the door, a bottle in hand. Naruto struggled against the bonds. The Uchiha smirked as the blonde tried in vein. He sat down on the bed, stroking the face of his soon to be lover. Suigetsu burst through the door. His eyes were large with rage and he was steaming.

" WHAT THE FUCK SASUKE!" He yelled, " YOU JUST LEFT ME THERE!!"

Suigetsu ran over to the Uchiha, ready to start a fight. Sasuke braced him, grabbing the watery nin's arms, but he turned himself into water and got away from the grip. Suigetsu back away, turning himself back solid. Sasuke took a step towards him but slipped on the excess water on the ground. And while he was falling, threw up the bottle. The Uchiha landed on his back and watched with wide eyes as the bottle came down. The top of the it smashed into his eye before rolling on the floor. Suigetsu rushed over to Sasuke but stepped on the bottle. It sailed out from under his foot, sending the watery nin to the floor and the bottle itself into the closest wall, smashing it into bits. The Uchiha, still holding his eyes, rolled over to see the potion sinking into the cracks of the wooden floor. Naruto burst out laughing. What a stroke of luck that was!

" Wow Sasuke, that was perhaps the most smooth thing I have ever seen in my entire life." Naruto said between laughs. Suigetsu chuckled to himself. Sasuke went boom. The Uchiha got onto his feet and exited the room. The other two continued to laugh but both stopped, tears coming from their eyes.

" Oh that was good." Suigetsu said. " Hey Naruto, may I ask you a question?"

" Go ahead." He said, staring at his nose, which itched very badly. The watery nin noticed the blonde's distress and scratched it. " Thanks, now what did you want to ask?"

" Has Sasuke always been so crazy, obsessive, stalker…thing?" Suigetsu asked, sitting down on the bed. The blonde shook his head. " What is he only like that when he hasn't been laid in a while?"

" No. Sasuke gets like this whenever he sees me with any kind of man. Gay or straight. It was annoying then and far more annoying now." Naruto said, laying his head back against the pillow. Suigetsu nodded, resting his chin in between his thumb and pointer. Much like a psychiatrist.

" I've always just thought Sasuke needed to get laid."

" Probably does." And they laughed together again. Telling ridiculous stories about Sasuke.

-------------------

**ELSEWHERE**

Kakashi had used his dogs to track Naruto and they found the hideout not to far away from the village, but what they hadn't thought about was all of Orochimaru's hidden traps and puzzles. Not to mention the random guards. Yamato had already been lost fighting off a whole army of them. It seemed like they had taken every single wrong turn possible. Sakura huffed, wiping the thin layer of sweat of her brow, but as she did so she stepped onto a sinking stone, which made walls shoot up around the three ninjas. She laughed a little while rubbing the back of her head as Sai and Kakashi glared daggers at her. But they just sighed, heading forward. Kakashi's dogs would lead the way. Until, they managed to get lost. Sai slammed his head into the closest wall repeatedly.

" How did you get lost if you're following a scent?" Kakashi muttered, annoyed to his dogs. They all shrugged before they disappeared. " And now they're gone."

" Look!" Sakura said pointing upwards. A tree sat squarely in the maze, its braches shot out into the hideout. The three of them jumped into the three and ran from branch to branch, until they noticed that they didn't seem to be getting anywhere. Sakura jumped to the next branch and got slightly further, then jumped again and again until she was on the other side. " I hope guys were paying attention."

" Shit, I wasn't paying attention at all." Kakashi muttered. It took Kakashi twice as long as Sakura to get across. " Come on Sai. Remember its just up four, then right three, up seven, left six…"

" I know!" Sai said jumping across. He made it to the last branch, it was a twig, already cracked from Kakashi and Sakura. Sai stepped lightly on the broke tree branch, unsure of its stability. Of course this was the only branch left in this stupid maze to Orochimaru's hideout. If it broke, there would be no way to get through it. Sai was about to jump when…

" SAI! Don't think about falling!" Kakashi yelled. Sai shook it off but before he could try again… " Or plummeting, and try not to notice how small that branch is compared to your foot, and how it may not support your weight.."

" YOU'RE NOT HELPING!" Sai said jumping onto the branch, doing a quick back flip onto the cliff. Yamato waved to all of them. They all stared, who the hell did he get there?

" Why did you guys come this way?" Yamato asked, pointing to the path he came from. " That path was completely clear, like they forgot about it."

Sai grabbed a stick and started to chase Sakura with it. It was her fault they went that way. Kakashi grabbed Sai, pulling his away. Yamato shook his head before pressing onward. They all followed. It wouldn't be long now. They arrived at a long staircase that went into the ground. It was dark and screams were coming from the depth. Kakashi went first, Yamato behind him, holding onto the man's shirt for comfort. Sakura and Sai stared at each other for a second. It was weird to think he was afraid of the dark at his age. Sakura rolled her eyes as she walked down the stairs. Sai looked behind him before plunging in, he didn't want one of the experiments tipping Sasuke off. They reached a door with words scribbled into it, a barrier was guarding it, obviously you had to solve the riddle first.

" 'I'm stuck deep within a dark place. I'm not very nice to swallow but people do anyway. After I come out I'm sticky and wet. What am I?'" Sai recited. His brows furrowed but Sakura looked very confident. She must have figured out the answer. She stepped towards the door.

" The answer is a cherry pit, it's stuck in the middle of a dark place, people swallow them on accident and they can be stick after you pull them out." Sakura said. The door didn't react. Her eyebrow twitched as she kicked barrier. " This thing must be busted, I know that's it."

" Or," Sai said, " You're just wrong. I think I know what the answer is. The answer is…semen."

They all laughed. But then the barrier dissipated, the doors opened and, everyone shut up. Sai led them through the doors. They muttered about him being a show off. Orochimaru jumped down out of no where closing the door. He chuckled, a non-evil chuckle. The snake smirked at the four ninjas. They all got into a fighting stance but he shook his head.

" No, no." Orochimaru said throwing them a scroll. " If you want Naruto back you'll have to solve the maze of tunnels. That has four different maps on it, but choose wisely for only one is the true way to Naruto, the others are well…I guess you'll have to find out. So long."

The snake disappeared in a puff of smoke. Sai opened the scroll. He tore it into four different sections handing one to each member. They all looked at each other before setting off in different directions. Sai, stood there for a moment but then took off down the final tunnel, he was sure he had the right map. Orochimaru popped out of the floor, laughing loudly. This was going to be quite fun.

* * *

Sasuke had returned to the room. Naruto and him sat on his bed, waiting. The potion took about two hours to remake, and since the bottle was the last of it, it was going to be another hour and a half before Kabuto managed to make it again. This, however, gave Naruto time to remember the escape jutsu. Which still did not appear in his head at all, even when he thought about watching the other children in his class. Damn memory. Orochimaru kicked in the door, stepping inside calmly, handing Sasuke a scroll.

" That scroll contains the locations of the four Kohona ninjas in the hideout, they are all looking for Naruto, but only one has chosen the right path. It was Sai." Orochimaru said. Sasuke smirked. " So have fun Sasuke."

It would only be a matter of time before Sai would manage to find the Uchiha's room, but unfortunately for the former, the latter would be waiting for him. Sasuke let out an evil chuckle. But then stopped, realizing that it was really lame to laugh evilly.

* * *

**OH NO SASUKE CAN TRACK SAI WHERE EVER HE GOES! Find out what happens next time.**

**Naruto: Hitoko-Sama you seem kinda off…  
****Me: Oh that's because I have to study for my damn biology test, but I didn't bring my book and I haven't done the homework for practice so…you know.  
Naruto: You're going to fail aren't you?  
Me: Ha, fuck no. My biology teacher lets us use the book, notes, labs, bell assignments, anything we want. There's no possible way to fail. This was Hitoko-Sama.**


	6. Chapter 6

**Ok here's the next chappy! I hope you enjoy! Regular PV**.

* * *

Sai had been running for what seemed like hours. He was beginning to believe that he had taken the wrong part of the map. He mentally cursed and stopped. Sai turned around, he did have options; continue forward or turn back. He heard a chuckle, it filled the silence of the hallway. Orochimaru appeared in front of him, smirking at his frustration. The artist glared at him.

" Aw what's wrong?" He asked mocking Sai. " Frustrated? Scared? Confused? Well it won't matter in about a hour. Kabuto will complete the obedience potion and Naruto will be so in love with Sasuke he won't even remember your name."

" You bastard." Sai screeched pulling out a scroll, he scribbled on it quickly before performing a few hand signs. His drawings jumped off he paper and attacked Orochimaru. The snake man evaded them with ease, making them burst into nothing more that puddles of ink with his snakes. He was about to draw more when Orochimaru tossed something to him. Thinking it was a weapon he dodged it. He looked back and saw it was a hour glass. The sand had stopped but when Sai picked it up they started to pour again.

" That is a special hour glass. Even when it's knocked over it can still accurately tell you how much time is left when you turn it up right again." He said sinking into the wall. " Use your time wisely."

Sai watched as the body melted into the wall, he still had a feeling that Orochimaru was there, watching him. He stared down the dark hallway and took off again, placing the hour in his kunai holster. At least now he knew that he was going the right way. Orochimaru smirked as he came out of the wall again.

" Yes, run, run little rabbit." Orochimaru said, " Lose yourself further as you go deeper into the snake pit."

Sai couldn't shake the feeling that something was off. According to the map he should have reached a forked hallway but felt like he was just running on a treadmill. The scenery around him began to blur and merge together in splotches of color. His mind reeled and he fell to his knees, his head spinning. He closed his eyes, trying to calm the storm in his mind. He opened them again only to see he was standing in the exact same spot in which he had stopped before. Orochimaru was still there too and he blinked a few times trying to get a hold of what had happened. His brush had been dropped on the floor and his ink was pouring out of its bottle. He looked behind him and saw that this time the hour glass had broke, its sand was spilling out.

" Oh, looks like you were able to see through my Gen Jutsu. That hour glass contained a gas that when breathed in places the person in a dazed state until they realize what is actually going on, but it was a good way to waste half of a hour."

" HALF A HOUR!" Sai screamed rushing past Orochimaru. His laughter filled the air, following Sai, mocking him.

" Run as fast as you can boy, you'll never reach Naruto in time." He called after Sai, but he ignore those words. He pushed all the chakra he could into his legs, making them work much faster than they usually could. But he had a sneaking suspicion in the back of his mind that it was already far too late.

---------

Sasuke leaned in closer to Naruto. Suigetsu had long been kicked out of the room so there was no one to protect the blonde from the Uchiha. He kissed down Naruto's neck and all he could do was look away since he was still bound to Sasuke's bed. The Uchiha's hand drifted lower, trailing down his stomach. It stopped above the clasp of his pants. Naruto bit his lip in anticipation. Sasuke smirked at this and unclasped it, pulling them down after a brief kiss. Naruto heart pounded in his chest as Sasuke started to kiss down his stomach. He licked his navel and tongue-fucked his bellybutton, making Naruto arch a little bit. Sasuke's smirk widened as he began lowering his face even more. His chin brushed Naruto's cock, exciting a moan from the blonde. The Uchiha licked around his cock, never touching it directly, like he wanted most. Sasuke stopped completely to look back up at Naruto. His face was tinged red and he was muffling his cries by biting his arm. Sasuke gave Naruto's cock a long sultry lick, making the blonde release his arm and let out an unexpected scream of pleasure.

" Yes, that's more like it." Sasuke said with a large smirk as he continued. He lowered his mouth almost all the way on his cock, taking long sucks and licks. He was making Naruto hard with every single touch. It would make things much easier later. He nipped slightly at the tip of his cock, savoring the way Naruto's breath hitched. There was a knock at the door and Sasuke glared angrily at the door. He removed his mouth from Naruto, who looked almost as frustrated as the Uchiha did. He opened the door a crack, seeing Kabuto standing on the other side.

" Here Sasuke," Kabuto said handing Sasuke a small bottle He put it in his pocket to make sure Naruto wouldn't see it. " I've finished the potion and mixed into the lube you gave me, as requested, have fun with whatever you're doing."

Sasuke nodded his thanks before slamming the door promptly. He smirked as he walked back over to the bed. He noticed that Naruto had snapped out of his haze and was now going to fight him at every turn. But Sasuke had already thought of a way to counteract that.

" As you may have guessed that was Kabuto, however, he didn't have the potion like he had promised." Sasuke lied, Naruto narrowed his eyes. But he could tell the blonde was more confused that angry. " It looks like, to get back at me, Suigetsu raided the lab after Kabuto had finished with the second potion and smashed it. He's a tricky one that Suigetsu, you never know when he's going to strike and when he does its always below the belt."

Naruto's mood seemed to be lifted by this because he let Sasuke sit back down on the bed without so much as a kick to the stomach.

" Looks like you don't always get what you want after all, huh Sasuke?" Naruto muttered watching as Sasuke returned to what he was doing earlier. His cock disappeared in the Uchiha's skilled mouth, reawakening his hard-on with vengeance.

" Guess not." Sasuke said removing his mouth from the blonde's crotch. He pulled the bottle out from his pocket and dripped it on his fingers. Naruto was watching the entire time and didn't say a word about it. He rubbed around on his fingers a little waiting for it to warm up, and when it was warm enough, he slipped a solitary finger inside that tight heat he called Naruto. The blonde moaned, but then felt strange as another finger went inside him. Sasuke began to smirk. The blonde's eye started to become hazy and Sasuke pulled out his fingers and started to unclasp his pants, he smeared his cock with the lube. Sasuke gripped Naruto's hips tightly, positioning himself to enter.

" You know Naruto, I have to get something off my chest." Sasuke said using the tip of his cock to tease the blonde. " I lied before, Kabuto did manage to make me a second potion but I knew if I had you drink it you wouldn't be under my control when Sai showed up, but I remember something. Absorption is always faster through rectum. And so I made Kabuto mix the potion into this bottle of lube, knowing if I aroused you enough, you'd open up to me with no restraint. Pretty smart of me huh?"

Sasuke slammed his cock into Naruto, making him scream in ecstasy. His eyes were completely glazed over and he released the blonde's arms. They instantly wrapped around Sasuke's neck for support. He kissed the blonde's neck, biting occasionally, making his blonde moan in pleasure-pain. Naruto arched against Sasuke, throwing his head back so far that he smacked it against the headboard, hard. Sasuke completely stopped all his ministrations and pulled out. Settling the blonde in his arms, he checked his head for major injuries.

" Sasuke-Sama, why did you stop?" Naruto muttered in a husky voice. He looked up at Sasuke, running a finger down to his lips. The Uchiha nipped at the finger, making Naruto smile. " Come and finish what you have started."

Sasuke smirked widely. The potion had worked like a charm. The Uchiha dropped the blonde to the floor on his knees in front of him. Sasuke could just cum from the power trip he was getting.

" If you wish to please you master, suck." He said in a cruel voice but the blonde wasted no time in wrapping his lips around Sasuke's hard cock. The Uchiha groaned watched in morbid fascination as Naruto sucked. Glazed azure blue eyes stared back at him. He watched as Naruto suck, never once breaking eye contact. Sasuke couldn't hold it much longer and came quickly into his waiting mouth.

" It's been far too long since our last sexual encounter Sasuke-Sama, so please, take you time while you take me." Naruto said bending over the bed. Sasuke had never been happier.

-------------

Sai was panting by the time he reached the door to Sasuke's room. He heard moans and cries coming from the other side of the door and he already knew one thing. He was too late. Sai took a deep breath.

' _No I have not failed yet_.' Sai thought pulling out his short sword. '_This is for you Naruto_'

Sai kicked the door in and was greeted by a very arousing sight. Naruto was face down in the Uchiha's mattress, crying out in extreme pleasure, and said Uchiha was behind him thrusting as hard as he possibly could. Sasuke turned to see Sai standing there. He smirked at him and thrust one last time before filling Naruto with his hot juices. The blonde slumped onto the bed, breathing heavy.

" Ah I see you've decided to join the party." Sasuke said, pulling on a pair of pants, even though Sai had already gotten an eye full of 'Uchiha Pride.' " But I'm afraid you're already far to late to do anything Sai, Naruto is completely under my control."

Sai gulped. Maybe if he ran now he wouldn't face such a humiliating defeat. Sasuke appeared behind him, closing the door. There was no chance of running now.

* * *

**OH NO SASUKE MANAGED TO SLIP NARUTO THE POTION! WHAT WILL SAI DO!? Find out next chapter.**

**Sai: Damn it I need to work on my cardio  
Me: Indeed you do Sai, cause even though I'm in horrible shape I probably would have beat you there. But then again I knew about the Gen Jutsu trap thing so yeah.  
Sai: You're such a woman  
Me: Really? I've never noticed. This was Hitoko-Sama.**


	7. Chapter 7

**HURRAY NEW CHAPPY!! Regular PV  
--------------------------------**

Sasuke had pinned Sai to the ground. His blade hung dangerous above his head. The artist had fought tooth and nail against Sasuke but as usual, it wasn't enough. The Uchiha had him pinned by his throat. Naruto got off the bed. Sai's eyes lightened. The blonde put a finger to his lips and grabbed the lamp on Sasuke's side table.

" Well Sai I guess this is goodbye." Sasuke was about to bring his blade down when he was smacked in the head. Sai pushed the Uchiha off, he got to his feet and held Naruto. He smiled and kissed Sai gently.

" How? I thought you were under the control of the potion…" Sai asked extremely perplexed.

" Well you see I was beginning to feel the effects but then I arched really hard and I smacked my head really hard against the headboard…I came out of it almost instantly." Naruto said rubbing the back of his head. Which was still sore. " And since I knew you were coming I just pretended."

" So you were normal the entire time and didn't help me at all?! I COULD HAVE BEEN KILLED!" Sai yelled. Naruto shrugged. The artist rolled his eyes and let out a deep sigh. He pulled Naruto close to him. The blonde moved his face close to Sai's expecting a kiss but the artist smirked and let the blonde go. Naruto huffed and pouted.

The blonde decided that now would be a good time to put his clothes back on. Once clothed again they tied Sasuke's hands and feet with rope. Sai opened one of his scrolls and was about to throw Sasuke into it when Suigetsu walked into the room. The watery nin stood there for a moment.

" There's really no point in fighting you…" Suigetsu said falling on the ground pretending to pass out. The pair looked at each other for a moment but shrugged, tying up Suigetsu. They threw Sasuke and Suigetsu into the scroll. Sai rolled it back up before returning it to his kunai holster. The artist grabbed Naruto's hand and led them out of the Uchiha's room. They hadn't taken two steps before they were faced with Orochimaru. His eyes narrowed with anger.

" Hand over Sasuke, I will not let you leave with my new body." He said yellow eyes shining in the dim light. Sai pulled out his carrying scroll as soon as the snake man charged them. He opened it and swung it at Orochimaru. He was sucked into the scroll without any problems.

After walking a ways they encountered Kabuto. He just rolled his eyes and returned into the room he was hanging out of. He made sure to slam the door in their faces to show that he was not interested in them in the slightest bit. Naruto looked at Sai, who just shrugged. He was too happy to have Naruto back to even care about the world around him.

Now came the hard part. Find everyone who had gotten lost in the maze.

They both headed down one way together, just in case. Sai saw Kakashi first. He had been caught in a massive spider web and the spider's egg sack was slowly beginning to open; hungry babies inside. Naruto and Sai wasted no time in cutting the stick silk off their sensei. When he was free Kakashi made a fire and threw the egg sack into it. The babies burst out, on fire. The three of them decided that it was time to run.

Kakashi went down one way by himself and the other pair went down the other. They heard screams and knew that Sakura had taken this way. The rushed to see that Sakura was strapped into a chair being forced to look at naked pictures of Orochimaru. Naruto cringed at the pictures.

" SAVE ME!!" Sakura screamed. " HE'S SO PALE AND OLD!!"

" I just threw up in my mouth a little." Sai said holding a hand over his mouth. Naruto made a disgusted face and took a step away just incase he did actually throw up.

Sai cut Sakura free from her bonds. She muttered the entire way back about ' Naked Orochimaru, eye gouge.'

Kakashi had returned with Yamato, who was in no better condition than Sakura. He was muttering inaudibly and shaking harshly. He explained that Yamato was trapped in a gen jutsu that made everything taste like pickles. Apparently Yamato hated pickles. Naruto rolled his eyes. So much for him being a man.

Once everyone's emotion scars had been sated they headed back for Kohona.

---------

**BACK TO KOHONA( in a jail)**

Suigetsu and Sasuke sat in a cell together. They both sat on top bunk that belonged to the Uchiha. The stared at each other for a moment before the watery nin pushed Sasuke off his bunk. He landed on all fours, much like a cat. Suigetsu jumped on top of Sasuke, shaking him.

" This is all your fault! I'm too pretty to be used as a trade for a pack of cigarettes!" Suigetsu said, tears falling from his eyes in steady streams. The Uchiha pushed his companion off of him.

" Well you didn't have to pretend to pass out and let them capture you now did you? Besides I won't let them trade you for a pack of cigarettes. I'll trade you myself for something far more useful like someone who doesn't complain nearly as much as you do." Sasuke retorted. A few burly men entered their cell. Wicked smiles graced all of their faces.

" So which one of you wants to be first?" Sasuke pointed at Suigetsu who was shocked beyond belief to point back at Sasuke. The men threw a pack of cigarettes at Sasuke as he watched the watery nin be dragged out the room. He had obviously forgotten all of his ninja training in the brief moment. But the Uchiha shrugged and got back onto his bunk.

Orochimaru's cell was across from Sasuke's. He made kissing faces at the Uchiha all day long. He looked down at the pack of cigarettes in his hand and smirked. The next morning the snake like man had been hung by his penis in the cafeteria. Sasuke smirked and placed the pack of cigarettes into a very large inmates hand. Suigetsu came stumbling over to Sasuke. The men who had captured him followed close behind.

" I've never had a romp that good before. Tell you want I'll give you a pack of cigarettes every time I want some of this right here." The man said grabbed Suigetsu's ass. He made a kissy-face at him before leaving. The watery ninja clung to Sasuke's prison shirt.

" Say you'll never make me go back." Suigetsu asked.

" No promises."

A month later it was announced to many of the prisoners that Sasuke had become the best new pimp in the prison and Suigetsu, the perfect prostitute, much to his despair. And as for Orochimaru, well lets just say his tongue and penis are the same length. ------------

**SAI AND NARUTO TIME (:**

Sai and Naruto were very happy to say the least. After Sasuke was locked up Naruto had no need to worry about where he was or how he was doing. And it also kept Sasuke from being a creep who needs to get laid all the time. The artist found himself falling more and more in love with Naruto every moment they spent together.

Sai pushed his blonde into the bed. He nipped Naruto's bottom lip asking for entrance. It was granted almost instantly. The artist's tongue wrapped and Naruto in a sensual dance. He moaned into the kiss. Sai trailed his hands down Naruto's exposed chest. He made sure to flick and pinch the dusty nipples he found there. The blonde moaned a little bit. The replacement broke their kiss and trailed down his jaw line to his neck. When arrived at the blonde's tanned neck he bit and sucked, covering it in marks.

The raven hair man licked down Naruto's chest. He stopped at his nipples, biting and sucking them to hardness. The blonde shuddered in pleasure. While Sai was playing Naruto's nipples he began to rid the blonde of his pants. He pulled them down with his boxers. The blonde gasped at the feeling of colder air on his semi-hard erection. It got harder when he saw Sai lick his lips in anticipation of what he wanted to do. The raven licked down Naruto's stomach which made his muscles twitch. He moaned a little as Sai kissed the skin above his erection.

The raven never touched it directly, teasing Naruto to insanity. The blonde tried to grab Sai's head and force it down but he only got his wrists grabbed. Sai had to pin them back so the blonde wouldn't try anything else. He tied them with his headband. He loved how Naruto fought him the entire way. It turned him on more. Sai returned to his earlier work. He licked the inside of Naruto's thigh, next to his entrance. The blonde's breath hitched. Sai smirked at the reaction. Everything Naruto did was so sexy.

The artist finally gave Naruto some relief and licked his balls. The blonde moaned a little bit. Sai kissed upwards and when he reached the top of his cock licked all the way back down. Sometimes Sai would get a little frisky and nibble on the delicate skin, making Naruto go wild. The artist engulfed it fully, scrapping his teeth along whenever he bobbed his head. For some reason the blonde had a slight fear, from past experiences, that Sai was going to bite him. Whenever teeth scrapped a little too hard Naruto shut his eyes and breathed deeply.

A finger entered him. His eyes shot wide open, not expecting the intrusion. The blonde moaned and pushed back. Sai added a second, adding a bit more pressure in the thrusts. He made sure to scissor Naruto vigorously, making his loose enough so it would hurt him. The blonde was panting harshly at this point, he was getting close. Sai added a third finger and thrust harshly. Naruto screamed in bliss as white dots danced in his vision. The artist could have sworn that he heard his blonde purr when he was in so much bliss.

Sai pulled his fingers out, not being able to take much more of the foreplay. He got between Naruto's slightly parted legs and unbuttoned his pants. He pulled them down enough to where Naruto could see Sai's swollen cock. He pressed the tip into Naruto's tight hole, making sure to rub it creating a friction. The blonde moaned and pulled at his restraints. Sai leaned up and let Naruto's hands free. The blonde tackled Sai to the bed and placed him at his entrance.

" Since you've show me a good time, I'll return the favor." Naruto said descending on Sai's cock. The raven groaned as he gripped the blonde's hips guiding him down. The blonde went all the way back up and almost let Sai fall out before he pushed himself back down. He pulled Naruto down and their lips connected in a harsh kiss. The blonde bit Sai's lip, pulling it up a bit.

The artist knocked the blonde off his cock and forced him into the bed. Naruto moaned as Sai thrusted into him. The raven pulled Naruto's leg onto his shoulders. Sai went deep and he let out a throaty moan. The blonde watched in morbid fascination as Sai's cock disappeared into his entrance. The whole experience was amazing. His eyes rolled back into his head and he tightened around Sai. The replacement bit his lip to keep from cumming right then. Naruto released onto Sai's chest accompanied by a loud moan.

Sai moaned at the added tightness. His thrusts became much more needy and he thrusted in Naruto more erratically. The blonde would tease him by tightening his muscles. Sai let out a grunt and thrusted a little harder, as a punishment. He realized that he wouldn't be able to hold it much longer. He came into Naruto's tight hole. The blonde moaned a little at being filled with hot liquid. Sai collapsed onto his blonde. He kissed him on the forehead.

" Naruto starting tomorrow I'm going to be living here with you and I will clean!" Sai said rolling onto his side. The blonde pushed him off the bed.

" What?! How am I supposed to find anything if _you _move it." Naruto yelled sitting up in bed while he pointed an accusing finger at the artist.

" I'm surprised you can find anything now."

Naruto threw a pillow at Sai's head. The artist smirked at that and jumped onto the bed. He rolled around for a few minutes with Naruto. Eventually the blonde gave up and started to pout. Sai nibbled the pout off of those lips.

" I love you." He said with a smile. Naruto's face heated up slightly. Sasuke had said that a million times but he never really felt it to be true until now.

" I love you too, I guess."

" WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU GUESS?!"

And the fighting resumed.

* * *

**Hurray Sai and Naruto are in love and are happy!! THANKS FOR READING (:**

**Me: I really hope Alrye reads this…**  
**Naruto: Why?**  
**Me: She hates SaiNaru and this would stick it to her. I mean she even went so far as too distract me from writing this. Thinking yaoi would distract me from my duties would work….Ok it did but I still got everything done. ANYWAY thanks for your reviews and reading this fic. Until next time this is HITOKO-SAMA**


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